I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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