Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
