she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
