Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
