K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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