So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
