How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize