were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize