i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
