I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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