Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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