I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
