I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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