Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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