He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
