I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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