Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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