so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
