Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
