It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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