i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
