Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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