Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
