It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Even my vagina gasped.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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