butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
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