Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
