I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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