Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's always time for handjobs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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