At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She announced her abortion via fbk
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
