Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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