Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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