i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize