a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
