my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
