After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
