no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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