so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
