In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
