His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
