Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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