I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize