The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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