matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
