Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
