we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
