Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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