Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
