I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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