Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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