The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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