Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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