all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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