she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
