i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
