you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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