We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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