halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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